Stacy London Inspired Me To Open Up
AT 47, I'M FINDING MY TROUSER POCKETS ARE FILLED WITH FEWER AND FEWER FUCKS.
In my early 20's I use to binge watch the TLC channel. In 2003 all of the random shows from fashion, interior design and finding a match seemed to my interest. Stacy London was one of my favorite outspoken hosts on TV then. Her abrupt attitude, disgusted faces and classy way of throwing shade were all parts of the show "What Not To Wear", also starring The Chew's Clinton Kelly. Together they reinvented the Britsh makeover reality show and took American's out of their old threads and into a smart, chic new look.
Throughout the show, Stacy would toss complete wardrobes into a garbage can and trash the dated outfits men and women were so comfortable in. Her honesty and little compassion helped knock some sense into people who either were holding on to their 80's fringe top or too-tired-to-match-an-outfit get ups. Guests left empowered, confident and motivated. The host duo complimented the show, guests and each other. Clint was compassionate and understanding and Stacy, well, an unapologetic #GirlBoss.
Fast-forward to 2016, I'm on my bus commuting to work when a fellow Latina mompreneur, who I deeply admire, shared this article and caught my attention. Pauline Campos is always verbalizing my thoughts. Her uncensored posts and realtime mommy battles are exactly what we all privately struggle with and her voice is a breath of fresh air at times. Considering we've never met, she has inspired me, supported me and we've become good friends throughout the years, much to say when she posts something, I pay attention. So, I followed the link and read about Stacy's recent face-to-face with her age, fashion and career choices. Let's say, I was inspired.
There is so much about me that I've shared throughout the years, and yes, it may seem that you know me pretty well. The reality is, as in the IG world, content creators are very aware of what we share. The highs, the lows and the in betweens are all carefully crafted and intentional. Of course as a writer it's easier to create elegant scenarios of our personal lives and cautiously string together words that reveal intimate moments but the reality is, we are people who have our skeletons in the closet too. Stacy helped shine a light on some topics that I often scoot to the back of my cramped closet and prefer to leave alone. But why?
Today's new aged millennials have embraced an unforeseen sense of entitlement that my generation cannot comprehend. Whether it be their body language, their approach or their sense of strength; the kids today own their sexuality, their careers and manipulate themselves into positions of power by asserting themselves - experienced or not. So why not us?
Why are we so private? Why the pearl earrings over the studs? Why the buttoned up cardigan over the mesh top? Why the skirt instead of the pants?
I have always been taught to dress like a lady. Act appropriate. Behave yourself. Hey ladies, ever heard this gem?
And at what point was I steered to frown on tattoos and piercings? I remember a young Marjoriet desperately planning a butterfly tattoo and eyebrow piercings. Taboo they said. That's not YOU, they said. Yeah? Well, maybe the pain factor swayed me away but why taint my perception of expression. Girls who like girls? "Aye, no. Que es eso?" Sexual controversy sparked conversations for days. The freedom of natural adolescent development was stolen from one entire generation. An entire culture was forced by media to believe that sexual expression considered you a rebel, instead encouraging shame and embarrassment amongst boys and girls. But why?
I remember years of my childhood trying to decipher the difference between girls and boys. Puberty happened very young for me and the shame I dealt with for being voluptuous and curvy. Lord, there was no difference between believing I was over weight and ugly at times. But, I wasn't. I was naturally adjusting to what the media said was appropriate. What teen magazines said was trendy and hip. Shame on you all for dictating what a little girl should look and feel like?
I wanted to be Selena. I wanted to be Aaliyah. I wanted to be Jennifer Lopez. I wanted to be Goddamn Daria.
I identified with women who embodied strength, beauty, femininity and charisma. Sexy and bold personalities who represented me surrounded me in the media but, instead, my immediate influencers were school administrators, parents and family who frowned upon my choices. Some of my friends were cautiously tip toeing down avenues that were sometimes too extreme for me and others would never dare to cross the line. I always found myself as a risk taker who was consciously and consistently sticking to my values.
Too much emphasis was spent on shaping young ladies and instead created functioning, respectable clones who pursued what was told to be the right way. School, work, marriage, children. In that order. I never ever understood that mentality.
I am not here to produce, present and pretend.
I always knew I had very different aspects of me. A lot never shared, more so shamed and silenced. Thanks to Stacy's article and her approach to her middle-age mentality, I am proudly going to create a series of "Taboo" confessions and share in hopes of inspiring YOU all. Because why the hell not? After all, let's capitalize on the privileged world we've evolved into.
Today I am 34 years old, mother of two, unmarried and never graduated college. I own a business, run a man's business, founded a non-profit, wrote for major publications, sit on the board of credited establishments and have no idea what's next. But fuck it. I'm not about to change my bold approach of not giving a fuck because there was a mold created for me by the ladies before me.
I wear my hat backwards, my pants tight and lips bright.
For me, I've already tossed in the towel. I'm not ready to conform and have made a living of preaching BE YOU, so I'm living in my purpose. Being me is very easy, I live, breathe and sleep positivity.
I invite you to join me.
My favorite part of this article was the editor's note on the bottom.
"September is typically a time when fashion publications definitively tell you what’s in, and what’s out. Fuck that. We’re dedicating the next couple of weeks to celebrate all the iconoclasts, independent thinkers, and individuals with unique personal styles who’d rather say Fuck the Fashion Rules than follow them."